That's all I really ask. I just hate having mistakes I noted in the description pointed out again in the comments, and lord help you if you ask me a question that I answered already... Okay I won't be a dick, but I'll be like "read the description honey." I'm also not fond of getting canon lectures on fan art that I submitted prior to new information coming out. Or canon purist lectures in general. It's fan art; it won't always jive with canon. If that's a problem for you, stick to official art.
THINGS TO EXPECT:
-Fan art of many kinds!
-Lots of cussing and sexual innuendo.
-Stupid shit made for kicks.
Stuff by my friends that I like, stuff that pertains to my specific fancies, and anything generally amazing or cool.
I fave and run a lot. Deal with it.
1. Don't be a dick. You don't have to like what I do. I can't stop you from saying so, and far be it from me to restrict your right to free speech. However, if you insult me or go off about how bad my drawings are, I'm just going to ignore you. I don't have time for that shit.
2. Don't be demanding. You're not my boss; you're not paying me a salary; this isn't the office; you don't get to dictate my conduct and performance.
3. Don't steal anything. I'm not too paranoid about this, but I've had people repost my shit in the past and try to pass it off as their own, and it's extremely rude and childish. If you want to use my work or characters or ideas, I'm usually cool with it as long as you give me credit. See FAQs below for details.
Do you take requests?
NO. NO. No no no no. Would you ask a contractor to fix your roof for free? No, that would be rude. So is going around asking artists to give you free art.
Do you take commissions?
No. I don't have time, and I'd psych myself out trying to give it my A-game and I just don't need that stress.
Do you do art trades?
Not anymore. I'm working full-time and need all the time I can spare for my personal drawings.
Do you do collaborations?
Very very rarely and only with people whom I know well. So normally, no.
Do you make gifts for birthdays/holidays?
For my good friends, I love doing gifts for their birthdays. Holidays I usually just do stuff for a handful of close, long-time friends due to time constraints. I'm not fond of gift-grubbing, so if we've only traded a few words here and there do not expect a gift. And random passersby, DO NOT expect me to be agreeable to a free request just because it's your birthday. I welcome suggestions from regular friends for whom I do gifts, but when it comes to everyone else my usual request rules apply.
Can I draw your character _______?
Be my guest! I'd be honoured. I appreciate being informed and if you have any questions, note me.
Can I include your character _______ in my written work?
Certainly, but please take the time to get to know them first. A drawing is easy, especially if they're just standing there. Writing is more involved and requires you to do characters' personalities justice. If anything is unclear you are more than welcome to note me for information. I'm always happy to help!
Can I post your drawing on _________?
That depends on what ________ is. Blogs and social network sites and private web sites I'm usually okay with as long as I'm credited for creating it. Sites like here or FA I take on a case by case basis. Usually if you want to post a drawing I did for you on your account, provided all credit to me is noted, I'll say yes. More than anything, I just like to be asked first. It shows courtesy.
Can I use your pictures for pose/character references?
Yes by all means! If using my work as a guide for poses or anatomy will help you, I'm more than happy to help fellow artists improve. I don't do any tutorials, and I'm far from an expert on anatomy, but I like to think I have a decent handle on the basics. If there's anything in my gallery that will assist you artistically, have at it. All I ask it that you don't outright trace or copy pictures and put them in your gallery without asking my permission.
As for character designs, if it's my OCs or fan-characters, then yeah, duh. Use my pictures. For characters in fandoms, just know that I tend to put my own personal spin on them. What you see in my drawings won't always match the official art.
Want to RP?
Oi... I'll admit, I get caught up in little comment thread RPs with my friends all the time. Official RPing, especially with people I don't know well, I'm pretty wary about. Feel free to ask, but if I politely decline don't take it personally.
Are you going to draw more of ________?
Every time I get asked this question, a baby bunny gets run over by a lawn mower. I draw what I feel like when I feel like it. I ride the tide of my inspiration and make very little attempt to steer one way or another. Sometimes, I stop drawing a theme forever. It's just how I am. I'm sorry if you're disappointed that I'm not drawing your favourite things anymore, but tough. I'm not going to force myself to draw things I don't feel like drawing to make random internet-goers momentarily happy. If you watched me for a theme I draw and I stop, I won't hunt you down with a pitchfork for un-watching me. There's no sense in having your inbox cluttered by crap you don't care to see.
Did you read/see my latest art/story/journal?
Every time I get a message like this, a funny-looking guy gets fed through a wood-chipper. Odds are, if I haven't made a comment or what-not, I haven't looked at it yet. You'll know when I do, if I do. Frankly people asking me this question makes the gremlin in me not want to look out of pure spite.
Insert any question on a deviation or journal that is clearly answered in the text above
Listen you lazy sod, if you don't want to take the time to read the description, then don't ask questions. Just comment on the obvious content or the execution of the piece. Or don't comment. I'd rather get no comment at all than be asked a question I've already answered.
permanently for the foreseeable future.
Trades I'm awaiting (just because I'm not accepting new ones doesn't mean y'all get a pass on what you owe me):
-- posted Aug. 4 2013 -- in touch
-- posted August 15 2013 -- TRADE IN STORAGE
-- posted December 21, 2013 -- TRADE IN STORAGE
-- posted February 16, 2014 -- TRADE IN STORAGE
Select at least 5 pairings that you like/ship. (You can do more, but since the meme asks a lot of comparative questions 5 is a good minimum. I’d recommend 10 be the max for sanity’s sake, but if you want to do more…)
They can be any kind of pairing. 100% canon, your true OCs, fan-character/canon-character, crack pairing, crossovers, one-sided crushes, same-sex, opposite-sex, polyamorous, etc. No limits, though if you cross the realm in pedo or bestial pairings the public reserves the right to call you a total sicko.
List them in no particular order below.
Answer the questions truthfully.
1. Spike and Swag Hag
2. Diana and Dr. Jekyll
3. Emily and BL Zebub
4. Joe Pilot and Diana
5. Weez and Kelly
What universe are your pairings from? (If they’re from an established canon by another creator, name it. This is also where you indicate if they’re true canon, fanon, or true canon from a verse you created on your own.)
1. All from a PTPPE RP still ongoing…
Are they married, affianced, steady boy/girlfriends, friends with benefits, dating, crushing, or any variation thereof?
1. Friends with LOTS of benefits.
3. Complicated by hot as fuck.
What inspired you to create the pairing? If it’s an established pairing in its canon, tell us why you like it so much.
1. It came to mind via a conversation with Will a couple years ago. It recently was revived much to the world’s horror.
2. I’ve thought Emily’s version of Dr. Jekyll was darling for a while, and I finally got around to asking her to couple him with my PTPPE self a couple years ago.
3. (EmilyOne listen to that voice and…goddamnit, I caved. XD
4. Because I’m a sick bastard.
5. It was a random idea, but now it’s canon.
What is their favourite activity/ies to do together? Describe an ideal date for them.
1. Screw. Constantly.
2. Watch films, go for walks, play cards, have conversations about various things, have steamy sex.
3. (Emily Hmmmm…go on nice dates, sex…
4. Joe likes to fuck and degrade her and use her as arm candy, and she’s kinda blinded by lady-boners. Until she isn’t.
5. Kelly being Kelly. You can see why it didn’t last.
(Oh hai Mark!) How is their sex life? If they’re not banging, just ignore this question or write a random curse-word in the space for them.
1. Unending and traumatic for all who witness. But they like it, so…
3. I think they have fun. (BL: Oh do we? )
4. It’s the one thing she can say was actually worth any of the trouble. And even that’s a stretch.
5. Weez didn’t inflict enough pain on Kelly so BOORRRRRING.
Do they have/plan to have children. If so, how many? If they already have kids or you have specific kids planned for them, share ages and names.
1. NO AND THANK FUCKING GOD!
2. Nope. Never.
3. I seriously doubt Em is up for that! (Emily: NO.)
4. NO. Neither want or like them, and Joe would be a dreadful father.
Do they have a happy ending in store for them? If their relationship ends, how so? (Death, divorce, break-up, etc.)
1. It might turn sour once they run out of surface areas on which to bang in the universe.
2. Happy ever after.
3. Again, up to Em! I think it’s staying casual. (Em: The marriage crashes and burns but…they still see each other casually.)
4. When person is happy, the other is miserable.
5. They broke up.
If any of the listed pairings is a fan-character/canon-character pairing, do you honestly think it could work if your fan-character was a canon character? Be totally honest. If none of the pairings listed are FC/canon, disregard this question.
This whole thing is a mish-mash of OCs, canon, and original spins on existing characters. Pretty much anything goes!
Are there any canon influences that do or could possibly destroy the pairing’s likelihood? Examples: If they’re established by the creator, is there a romantic rival or possible force beyond their control that could break them apart? If they’re fan-made, either with canon characters or a FC/canon pairing, could they end up dead or are/could very likely in the future be paired up in an established canon relationship you don’t care for? Disregard this question for pairings from your own original universes. Since you’re in control of those I assume you approve of what you’re doing.
1. Swag Hag did dump him once, but they’re back joined at the hip. Literally.
2. If Joe had his way, Henry would be an extra in the relationship if anything.
3. Emily’s call! (Em: Laura. But for the right reasons. And Hades for the wrong reasons.)
4. Aside from Joe being an enormous asshole?
5. Incompatible desires.
Do any of the pairings have what you would call a desirable relationship? I know we all have different definitions of that, but I’m referring to one built on mutual respect without a lot of bullshit drama or emotional baggage attached.
1. Aside from when she decides to ‘break up’ with him, Spike and Swag Hag seem to have a very healthy relationship. Gets them plenty of exercise at any rate…
2. This is the one fiction crush I have that I’d actually love to have in real life. That should say enough.
3. Aside from the whole almost-forced-marriage… once they get on the same page they seem to work well.
5. It didn’t last, but it wasn’t abusive.
Are any of the pairings listed above actually bad relationships? Manipulation, abuse, infidelity, generally shitty people involved, etc.
3. Well there was the start with the forced marriage…
4. Oh Jesus fuck… Joe is AWFUL. (wtf brain?)
And now for a bit of fun!
Choose two of your listed pairings. Just the first two that pop into your head.
1. Spike and Swag Hag
2. Joe and Diana
Now answer the questions/scenarios below.
These two pairings have been swapped. Partner A of Pairing 1 is with Partner B of Pairing 2 and vice versa. What is their initial response to this sudden change of events?
Spike: Hey there coworker. A little workplace romance, eh?
Me: *facepalm* I’d prefer Hyde…
Swag Hag: Oooo, nice digs! Rich boy, hm?
Joe: What the living hell is that?!
Would Partner A of Pairing 1 (PAP1 for short) be attracted to PBP2? How about the other way around?
Spike: Well DUH! Look at ‘er!
Me: Thanks Spike. Sorry the feeling’s not mutual.
Spike: Your loss, toots!
What about PBP1 and PAP2? Is there any attraction in that mash-up?
Swag Hag: Aren’t you a tall dark and handsome fillet of fish? *jiggles her boobs*
Joe: GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME, YOU FELINE FOSSIL!
Boners aside, would either of these pairings be compatible on a personality level?
Me: Not really.
Swag Hag: *purrrrr*
Joe: NOT IN A MILLION YEARS.
Swag Hag: Your loss, honey!
If the pairings exist in different fandoms or universes, how would the B partners (the ones who got swapped) function in their sudden environment change? If both pairings are from the same fandom then disregard this question.
If the two swapped pairs, by some crazy stretch of fictional reality bending, ended up bumping into each other in the same place, who would they conduct themselves? Could we expect civil behavior and possibly a polite ‘un-swap’ or will we be treated to epic cat and dog fights?
Joe: GIVE ME BACK MY QUEEN!! NOW!!!!
Spike: GET AWAY FROM MY WOMAN!!!!
Joe: TAKE YOUR DISGUSTING MUMMIFIED PIECE OF FILTH!
Spike: DON’T YOU BE CALLIN’ MY CLASSY DAME ‘FILTH’, FISH-FUCK!!
Me: You want to get drinks?
Swag Hag: Know any bars with hot guys?
Let’s pretend that PAP1 and PBP2 slept together. Just momentarily suspend all possible hindrances to that for a moment. How would their real partners react to being informed of this occurrence?
Joe: *censored for violence*
Swag Hag: Oh no worries. I just got done with Mylar.
How about if the opposite happened? PBP1 and PAP2 were the naughty ones and a little bird told PAP1 and PBP2?
Joe: Wouldn’t happen.
Me: It’s just a question. I played along with the horrific concept of sleeping with friggin’ SPIKE.
Joe: Because you’re a stupid whore, that’s why. I refuse.
Swag Hag: Suck the fun out of everything…
Spike: Fine by me! He doesn’t understand your glory like I do… *sloppy kisses*
Let’s say they got together and tried to have a four-way. How well does that work out?
Joe: How about I have my bodyguard beat you within an inch of your fucking life?
Okay back to the 5+ we were originally working with!
Rearrange your list to reflect which pairings you chose are your favourite. #1 is nearest and dearest, and then in descending order from there.
1. Diana and Jekyll
2. Diana and Joe
3. Em and BL
4. Spike and Swag Hag
5. Weez and Kelly
Ta-da! You’re done! Hope you had fun, and don’t tag anyone because tagging is evil, and gnomes will come and steal your unmentionables if you do it. Just remember that anyone’s welcome to borrow and fill this out at their leisure!
I'm here for fun. My profession is paralegal work, and art is my hobby and escape from real life and all its stresses.
If you're new to my page and have any questions, please take a moment to browse my FAQs (to the left); you may find what you're looking for!
Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.
I DO NOT TAKE REQUESTS. If you're here for free art, you're in the wrong place.
I do not do trades anymore either, and nor do I do commissions.
Not trying to be a prickly jerk or anything, but art is my 'me-time.' Just putting this above my page comment box to save everyone time.