|You think your room's a mess?|
|You think your room's a mess?|
That's all I really ask. I just hate having mistakes I noted in the description pointed out again in the comments, and lord help you if you ask me a question that I answered already... Okay I won't be a dick, but I'll be like "read the description honey." I'm also not fond of getting canon lectures on fan art that I submitted prior to new information coming out. Or canon purist lectures in general. It's fan art; it won't always jive with canon. If that's a problem for you, stick to official art.
THINGS TO EXPECT:
-Fan art of many kinds!
-Lots of cussing and sexual innuendo.
-Stupid shit made for kicks.
|Stuff by my friends that I like, stuff that pertains to my specific fancies, and anything generally amazing or cool. |
I fave and run a lot. Deal with it.
1. Don't be a dick. You don't have to like what I do. I can't stop you from saying so, and far be it from me to restrict your right to free speech. However, if you insult me or go off about how bad my drawings are, I'm just going to ignore you. I don't have time for that shit.
2. Don't be demanding. You're not my boss; you're not paying me a salary; this isn't the office; you don't get to dictate my conduct and performance.
3. Don't steal anything. I'm not too paranoid about this, but I've had people repost my shit in the past and try to pass it off as their own, and it's extremely rude and childish. If you want to use my work or characters or ideas, I'm usually cool with it as long as you give me credit. See FAQs below for details.
Do you take requests?
NO. NO. No no no no. Would you ask a contractor to fix your roof for free? No, that would be rude. So is going around asking artists to give you free art.
Do you take commissions?
No. I don't have time, and I'd psych myself out trying to give it my A-game and I just don't need that stress.
Do you do art trades?
Not anymore. I'm working full-time and need all the time I can spare for my personal drawings.
Can I draw your character _______?
Be my guest! I'd be honoured. I appreciate being informed and if you have any questions, note me.
Can I include your character _______ in my written work?
Certainly, but please take the time to get to know them first. A drawing is easy, especially if they're just standing there. Writing is more involved and requires you to do characters' personalities justice. If anything is unclear you are more than welcome to note me for information. I'm always happy to help!
Can I post your drawing on _________?
That depends on what ________ is. Blogs and social network sites and private web sites I'm usually okay with as long as I'm credited for creating it. Sites like here or FA I take on a case by case basis. Usually if you want to post a drawing I did for you on your account, provided all credit to me is noted, I'll say yes. More than anything, I just like to be asked first. It shows courtesy.
Can I use your pictures for pose/character references?
Yes by all means! If using my work as a guide for poses or anatomy will help you, I'm more than happy to help fellow artists improve. I don't do any tutorials, and I'm far from an expert on anatomy, but I like to think I have a decent handle on the basics. If there's anything in my gallery that will assist you artistically, have at it. All I ask it that you don't outright trace or copy pictures and put them in your gallery without asking my permission.
As for character designs, if it's my OCs or fan-characters, then yeah, duh. Use my pictures. For characters in fandoms, just know that I tend to put my own personal spin on them. What you see in my drawings won't always match the official art.
Want to RP?
Oi... I'll admit, I get caught up in little comment thread RPs with my friends all the time. Official RPing, especially with people I don't know well, I'm pretty wary about. Feel free to ask, but if I politely decline don't take it personally.
Are you going to draw more of ________?
Every time I get asked this question, a baby bunny gets run over by a lawn mower. I draw what I feel like when I feel like it. I ride the tide of my inspiration and make very little attempt to steer one way or another. Sometimes, I stop drawing a theme forever. It's just how I am. I'm sorry if you're disappointed that I'm not drawing your favourite things anymore, but tough. I'm not going to force myself to draw things I don't feel like drawing to make random internet-goers momentarily happy. If you watched me for a theme I draw and I stop, I won't hunt you down with a pitchfork for un-watching me. There's no sense in having your inbox cluttered by crap you don't care to see.
Did you read/see my latest art/story/journal?
Every time I get a message like this, a funny-looking guy gets fed through a wood-chipper. Odds are, if I haven't made a comment or what-not, I haven't looked at it yet. You'll know when I do, if I do. Frankly people asking me this question makes the gremlin in me not want to look out of pure spite.
Insert any question on a deviation or journal that is clearly answered in the text above
Listen you lazy sod, if you don't want to take the time to read the description, then don't ask questions. Just comment on the obvious content or the execution of the piece. Or don't comment. I'd rather get no comment at all than be asked a question I've already answered.
permanently for the foreseeable future.
Trades I'm awaiting (just because I'm not accepting new ones doesn't mean y'all get a pass on what you owe me):
-- posted Aug. 4 2013 -- in touch
-- posted August 15 2013 -- TRADE IN STORAGE
-- posted December 21, 2013 -- TRADE IN STORAGE
-- posted February 16, 2014 -- TRADE IN STORAGE
just posted a Friendship Meme today, but I was already done with this... Shoulda waited a day! Oh well. Enjoy the one person who can work with Kelly without wanting to run screaming into the night.
1) Introduce your pairing (of friends)!
Reggie: My name is Reginald Baxter. Nice to meet you.
Caesar: Oh goodie…
2) So… how did you two meet?
Reggie: I had to serve a short prison sentence, and he was my cellmate.
Kelly: I found him on the top bunk! He’s been my best imaginary friend ever since!
Reggie: *sigh* Naturally some parameters had to be set. Like no shit murals and he had to keep his mitts off my stuff.
3) Who initiated the relationship and how?
Kelly: I guess me? Since he’s a figment and all.
Reggie: Don’t bother correcting him. It’s pointless. We just got to talking, with about eight dozen non-sequiturs, and we bonded. Even I don’t fully understand how he didn’t drive me completely nuts…
Caesar: You must be a saint.
Reggie: Hardly. I just have high tolerance for annoyance.
Kelly: One potato, two potato, three potato, PEE!
Caesar: OH COME ON! You couldn’t make it more than three questions without doing something disgusting?!
4) Interesting! What was your first kiss with each other like?
Reggie: I would never allow him to kiss me. You know what he likes to eat, right?
Caesar: Unfortunately yes.
5) Aww! What do you find most attractive about each other, not just physical appearance?
Reggie: I don’t find him attractive. Okay I thought he was kind of cute when I first saw him, but it didn’t take long for that to wear off. As a friend, I like that he’s not judgmental. Of course he has no room to judge anyone…
Kelly: He has cool wings and can find the toilet in the dark!
Reggie: Echolocation has many advantages.
6) Would you say you're in love?
Reggie: I love him as a friend.
Kelly: He’s the best imaginary friend a guy can ask for!!
7) Who would you say "Wears the pants" in the relationship?
Reggie: Considering he’ll whip his off and run around like a toddler…
Kelly: CAN DO!
Caesar: NO! GODDAMMIT!
8) Now for the TMI, how is your sex life with each other?
Reggie: I just threw up in my mouth a little.
Kelly: Too bad you’re not real or I’d eat it!
Reggie: Kelly, I’ve told you ten thousand times, I AM real. I got you your job and apartment for Christ’s sake!
10) What is the kinkiest thing you've ever done with each other?
Reggie: Does pulling bullets out of his flesh without pain meds count?
Kelly: That was so much fun!! Almost more than getting shot!
Reggie: Tell me, if I wasn’t real, how could I have done that?
11) Ooh, how dirty! Now time for brutal honesty, what do you like the least about each other? No one is perfect, after all!
Reggie: Like I said, I have a really high tolerance for eccentricity, but he can certainly get on my nerves. He freaks my partner out with his ‘pain is the best ever’ routine, and I hate it when he makes a mess in my car or my apartment. Trash your own damn place…
Reggie: By pissing patterns into the carpeting? Do you know how hard that smell is to get out of shag?
Kelly: Uh, why would you want to?
12) Ouch, that has to sting! What do you usually argue about?
Reggie: See previous answer. These days I also try to steer clear when his, um, ‘Domina’ is around. She scares the fucking shit out of me!
Kelly: Domina is the best…
Reggie: I saw what she did in the last interview. I’m no fan of the fuzz, but NO ONE deserves to go through that kind of mindfuckery and torture.
Kelly: I poke the burny hole!
Reggie: Whatever makes you happy…
13) Have your arguments ever gotten violent?
Reggie: I used to threaten him with it when he’d get too distracting during work assignments. Of course I stopped because that just motivated him to be a bigger pest.
Kelly: He ignores me now. Boring.
14) How do you usually make up after a fight?
Reggie: He doesn’t hold grudges, so we really don’t have to.
Kelly: I leave him presents.
Reggie: Yes, that means exactly what you think it does.
16) Is there anyone who disapproves of your relationship?
Reggie: I know a lot of business owners we shake down nearly piss themselves when they see him coming. We kinda do a ‘good cop/crazy cop’ routine. They’re happy to deal with me after they see what Kelly’s capable of.
Kelly: Like when I blew up the window to that brewery and got burns on all my fingers!
Reggie: And after you hooked up with your Domina, dismembering yourself on their furniture…
Kelly: I love working.
17) Oh. That being said, do you have anyone who does support your relationship?
Reggie: Pretty much everyone else who works for Selaine. They don’t want to have to work with him!
18) That's nice! Do you eventually plan to get married and/or start a family?
Reggie: Not in a thousand years…
19) What would you do if the other was killed?
Kelly: He can’t die! He’s my imaginary friend!
Reggie: Boy are you in for a reality check someday… Kelly can’t die at this point. Since his Domina granted him superhero-like healing abilities, there’s really nothing that can kill him. I think this was mostly so she could cut off his extremities and turn him inside out for their mutual pleasure, but it had job-beneficial side effects.
Kelly: *slams head repeatedly into coffee table*
Reggie: And completely demolished any iota of self-preservation he had…
20) What would most likely cause you two to end your relationship?
Reggie: I could get killed-
21) Everyone has insecurity about infidelity, so how would you react if the other cheated?
Reggie: Okay whatever. I’m actually in a committed relationship already. And since Kelly’s at least in my top ten people I wouldn’t sleep with if my life depended on it…
Kelly: He cheats at chess all the time!
Reggie: I do not. You just don’t want to play properly. You stick all the big pieces in your butt and can’t play with anything but pawns!
Kelly: Well the pawns don’t have fun stabby parts.
22) What do you think makes your relationship seems so interesting?
Reggie: Do I need to elaborate further?
Caesar: Not really. I still can’t get over your patience…
Reggie: If you had my mother, you’d be pretty patient too.
23) Last question, would you say you care enough about each other to save the other from impending doom, even if it cost you your own life?
Kelly: Funky hairdo, you need to listen better. I told you he can’t die ‘cause he’s IMAGINARY.
Reggie: For fuck’s sake… c’mere Kelly. *takes out hunting knife and cuts Kelly across the abdomen, spilling intestines*
Reggie: Okay, so explain to me how I could have just disemboweled you without being a flesh and blood being in the… well this level of real world.
Kelly: *opens intestine and starts sucking out the contents* It’s a psychosomatic response.
Reggie: *puts his hands up* It’s psycho-something, that’s for sure. Sorry about that, Mr. Flickerman. I’ll get the mop.
Kelly: Ooo, the cheese fries I ate yesterday! *continues slurping*
I'm here for fun. My profession is paralegal work, and art is my hobby and escape from real life and all its stresses.|
If you're new to my page and have any questions, please take a moment to browse my FAQs (to the left); you may find what you're looking for!
Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.
|I DO NOT TAKE REQUESTS. If you're here for free art, you're in the wrong place.|
I do not do trades anymore either, and nor do I do commissions.
Not trying to be a prickly jerk or anything, but art is my 'me-time.' Just putting this above my page comment box to save everyone time.