|All and all you were all just bricks in the wall|
The Thing"I AM PUSHING, YOU TWIT! YOU THINK I'M NOT CAPABLE OF MULTI-TASKING?! Sorry about that Francis; I'm in the hospital having a baby. They what? No that's not a plea bargain. It's an insult! Call attorney Harolds back and tell him we're not settling for anything less than an aggravated assault charge. Battery my tits... If he thinks he can get away with a misdemeanor when the victim lost permanent use of his left arm he has another thing--hold on a second--KEEP THAT DAMN SCALPEL AWAY FROM MY TWAT OR I'LL KICK YOUR FUCKING BRAINS IN!"The Thing by 13foxywolf666
It had been eight months since Mikey's parents had told him the 'good news.' They had announced their intentions to have another kitten much earlier, but he had hoped their efforts would be in vain. As much hassle as it was to crank up his tunes and drown out the noise, parents bumping uglies was better than sharing his childhood.
All the wishful thinking in the world couldn't fight nature; now his mother was reclining in the birthing bed, discussing a case w
|READ THE DESCRIPTIONS PLEASE. That's all I really ask. I just hate having mistakes I noted in the description pointed out again in the comments, and lord help you if you ask me a question that I answered already... Okay I won't be a dick, but I'll be like "read the description honey."|
THINGS TO EXPECT:
-Fan art of many kinds!
-Lots of cussing and sexual innuendo.
-Stupid shit made for kicks.
|Stuff by my friends that I like, stuff that pertains to my specific fancies, and anything generally amazing or cool. |
I fave and run a lot. Deal with it.
1. Don't be a dick. You don't have to like what I do. I can't stop you from saying so, and far be it from me to restrict your right to free speech. However, if you insult me or go off about how bad my drawings are, I'm just going to ignore you. I don't have time for that shit.
2. Don't be demanding. You're not my boss; you're not paying me a salary; this isn't the office; you don't get to dictate my conduct and performance.
3. Don't steal anything. I'm not too paranoid about this, but I've had people repost my shit in the past and try to pass it off as their own, and it's extremely rude and childish. If you want to use my work or characters or ideas, I'm usually cool with it as long as you give me credit. See FAQs below for details.
Do you take requests?
NO. NO. No no no no. Would you ask a contractor to fix your roof for free? No, that would be rude. So is going around asking artists to give you free art.
Do you take commissions?
No. For one thing, I'd have to be paid through PayPal (which I don't know how to do yet) since there's no way I'd give my address out. For another, I'd psych myself out trying to give it my A-game and I just don't need that stress.
Do you do art trades?
Yes, but I don't always have time or energy. See my Trade Box just below this widget for trade rules.
Can I draw your character _______?
Be my guest! I'd be honoured. I appreciate being informed and if you have any questions, note me.
Can I include your character _______ in my written work?
Certainly, but please take the time to get to know them first. A drawing is easy, especially if they're just standing there. Writing is more involved and requires you to do characters' personalities justice. If anything is unclear you are more than welcome to note me for information. I'm always happy to help!
Can I post your drawing on _________?
That depends on what ________ is. Blogs and social network sites and private web sites I'm usually okay with as long as I'm credited for creating it. Sites like here or FA I take on a case by case basis. Usually if you want to post a drawing I did for you on your account, provided all credit to me is noted, I'll say yes. More than anything, I just like to be asked first. It shows courtesy.
Can I use your pictures for pose/character references?
Yes by all means! If using my work as a guide for poses or anatomy will help you, I'm more than happy to help fellow artists improve. I don't do any tutorials, and I'm far from an expert on anatomy, but I like to think I have a decent handle on the basics. If there's anything in my gallery that will assist you artistically, have at it. All I ask it that you don't outright trace or copy pictures and put them in your gallery without asking my permission.
As for character designs, if it's my OCs or fan-characters, then yeah, duh. Use my pictures. For characters in fandoms, just know that I tend to put my own personal spin on them. What you see in my drawings won't always match the official art.
Want to RP?
Oi... I'll admit, I get caught up in little comment thread RPs with my friends all the time. Official RPing, especially with people I don't know well, I'm pretty wary about. Feel free to ask, but if I politely decline don't take it personally.
Are you going to draw more of ________?
Every time I get asked this question, a baby bunny gets run over by a lawn mower. I draw what I feel like when I feel like it. I ride the tide of my inspiration and make very little attempt to steer one way or another. Sometimes, I stop drawing a theme forever. It's just how I am. I'm sorry if you're disappointed that I'm not drawing your favourite things anymore, but tough. I'm not going to force myself to draw things I don't feel like drawing to make random internet-goers momentarily happy. If you watched me for a theme I draw and I stop, I won't hunt you down with a pitchfork for un-watching me. There's no sense in having your inbox cluttered by crap you don't care to see.
Did you read/see my latest art/story/journal?
Every time I get a message like this, a funny-looking guy gets fed through a wood-chipper. Odds are, if I haven't made a comment or what-not, I haven't looked at it yet. You'll know when I do, if I do. Frankly people asking me this question makes the gremlin in me not want to look out of pure spite.
Insert any question on a deviation or journal that is clearly answered in the text above
Listen you lazy sod, if you don't want to take the time to read the description, then don't ask questions. Just comment on the obvious content or the execution of the piece. Or don't comment. I'd rather get no comment at all than be asked a question I've already answered.
|TRADES ARE CURRENTLY being addressed. If you ask, I'll put you on the waitlist.|
TRADES ARE FOR FRIENDS ONLY AS OF APRIL 28 2012!
I can be sort of lenient about that, but if you come bounding out of the blue and I don't know you from Adam and you ask for an art trade, I'm likely going to say no.
a. Keep it fairly simple. I'll do the same for you. No one needs to paint the Sistine Chapel here.
b. Sometimes I won't want to draw what you ask for. This is rare. I'm pretty open-minded to other people's ships and OCs and all that jazz, but if you ask me to draw a guy attempting to rape a 12 year old girl (someone asked for this once, I shit you not) or something just as bad, it's NOT going to happen. The same applies in reverse. If you find my idea for you uncomfortable or just a bitch to draw/write, we can revise the trade.
c. Don't EVER rush me. I'm usually very prompt about finishing trades, but since I'm not psychic I can't foresee everything that will happen in a given week. I'll be in touch with you if anything comes up that would delay it beyond a week.
d. Only one trade at a time per person.
e. You have three months after I post my end to get yours done or I'm putting it in storage. Exceptions apply if you contact me advising me of extenuating circumstances. If you come back and post your end late, I'll bring the stored trade back out for you. If a year has passed and you still haven't delivered, I will delete the picture from my gallery. Again, if you come back and post your end, I'll repost the trade for you.
f. I only work on three trades or less at a time, so anyone who asks me for a trade when I have three going on will be put in the waitlist and contacted when I'm ready for them. It's first-come, first-serve, so if you're down a ways on the waitlist you'll just have to be patient.
Note: since I moved my work station away from my scanner, I may have more than 3 trades in the 'current' section. I work on three at a time, and when I'm done with the drawing I'll move on to who's next on the waitlist. If it's 'complete, need to scan,' it's technically done and I can start on more. Hope that makes sense.
Trades I've finished my end for:
-- posted Aug. 4 2013 -- in touch
-- posted August 15 2013 -- TRADE IN STORAGE
-- posted December 9, 2013
-- posted December 21, 2013
-- posted February 2, 2014
-- posted February 8, 2014
-- posted February 16, 2014
-- posted Februarty 23, 2014
-- posted March 1, 2014
|Just a list of blogs I read on a regular basis.|
Hyperbole and a Half: hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com…
The Oatmeal: theoatmeal.com/
Sweaters For Days: jennytrout.com/
Something Short and Snappy: www.somethingshortandsnappy.bl…
Manifesto on Moral Mansex: manifestoonmoralmansex.tumblr.…
*My Very Worst Roommate: myveryworstroommate.com/
*My Very Worst Date: myveryworstdate.com/
*My Very Worst Job: myveryworstjob.com/
The Coquette: blog.thecoquette.net/
Dear Coquette: www.dearcoquette.com/advice
To My Husband: notestomyfuturehusband.com/
Fuck My Life: www.fmylife.com/
STFU Couples: www.stfucouples.com/ More for the comments than the entries
*No longer updating, but still fun to browse